Hello. I’ve brought you here today because we need to talk about something important. Something that has been weighing on my mind, as well as many of my colleagues’ minds. It’s that Rose from Titanic was a biotch in the afterlife. Let me explain.
On April 10, 1912, Rose boarded the Titanic.
Two days later, on April 12, she decided she wanted to kill herself. That is when she met Jack.
That’s right, she met good ol’ Jack Dawson on April 12, 1912.
On April 14, just before midnight, the Titanic hits the iceberg. That’s exactly 48 hours after Jack and Rose met.
And finally, at like, 2:30 a.m., Jack died.
So, Jack and Rose knew each other for two full days. Keep that in mind! Now let’s fast forward.
84 years later we meet 100-year-old Rose. We know it’s been 84 years, because she said so.
She tells us that after the Titanic — which, I will give her, was an extremely traumatic experience! — she ended up marrying someone, a man named Mr. Calvert. They had two kids together.
She also had at least one granddaughter, who was literally only learning about Jack Dawson/the Titanic as WE were.
It seems to me that after the Titanic, Rose lived a very happy life. Look at the pictures she has on her nightstand (that she brought with her onto the boat).
She rode horses, flew a plane, posed with her family, and as I said, was married to someone for quite a long time, until he died just a few years earlier!!! They had children and grandchildren!
Which leads me to why dead Rose is very uncool. The final scene of Titanic shows Rose presumably dying. (That’s up for debate, but I’m pretty confident she died that night — after all, she’s being greeted by all her dead Titanic friends.)
And so, assuming that she died, in this ~afterlife~ she meets Jack, and they are reunited.
Which means literally the last 84 years of her life — I’m talking her husband, her children, her grandchildren, her horses, WHATEVER — were ditched in the afterlife for Jack Dawson!!!!!!
WHAT IF HER DEAD HUSBAND, WHO SHE SPENT DECADES WITH, WAS WAITING FOR HER TO JOIN HIM? Welp, sorry buddy, but you got shafted!!
Did the last 84 years of her life, in which she found love in other places, mean NOTHING to her?? And now she chooses to spend eternity with Jack Dawson, the dude she knew for literally TWO DAYS???!!! She barely knows him! He might snore really loudly at night!!
So yeah, in conclusion, I feel bad for Rose’s dead husband, who was dumped at death’s door. And for her kids who literally never knew that their whole life their mom was just waiting to be reunited with a guy she never told them about.
But, idk, maybe I’m wrong. AM I WRONG?